I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
foreskin is a definite game changer
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
