he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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