I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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