im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
