Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
