We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
