he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My penis needs a shock collar
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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