wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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