I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
