i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
