Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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