There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
