hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
