Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
