I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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