He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
