And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
