Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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