uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
