and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
