I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She's the barista slut.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
