the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
dude. I can hear the air.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
