Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
