Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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