I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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