I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
