dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
