smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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