My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
