I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
