have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
