I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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