I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
