he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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