I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
