whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
