beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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