it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
