maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
