peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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