Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I need water and some morals
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
