If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
