Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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