Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
