I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
