When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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