great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
