D3 body, D1 cock
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
