She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
