i may or may not be watching the land before time
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
