It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
