What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
