it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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